Lost: Episodes 15-17

Here come some more half-assed recaps:

Episode 15 (Homecoming)

1. There are eleven more episodes in the season. This is insanity.
2. Locke carries dead-eyed Claire back to the rape caves. She wakes up and starts freaking out. She doesn’t seem to remember anybody (the way I know is she shrieks “WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?”). Later, Charlie brings Claire her journal and tells her a little about what Ethan did. He says “Ethan’s the bad guy”. He tells Claire that they’re friends.
3. Then we flash back to Charlie as a young drug addict with a sketchy friend. His friend gets him dressed up to fool some innocent rich girl so they can steal money or salable goods, so they can get more drugs. Charlie chats her up at a pub while the Driveshaft song plays!
4. Charlie babbles at Jin while they walk through the jungle. Jin gets knocked out by a thrown rock. Charlie looks confused. Oh crap, it’s Ethan! He wants Claire back! Charlie tries to hit him with a stick and Ethan beats him up and explains that Ethan will kill one person a day until Charlie gives Claire back. What a jerk.
5. Jack and Locke argue about what to do. They decide to tell everybody about it I think. I wasn’t paying much attention.
6. In flashback, Charlie has wormed his way into the rich girl’s affections. She takes him home to her dad’s house and he eyes all his belongings. He sees some fancy silvery thing, which was Winston Churchill’s. She invites Charlie back for dinner the next night. On the Island, Charlie has a guilty face.
7. Jack and Kate chat about something or other.
8. In flashback, Charlie tells the rich father that Driveshaft is over. Then the guy gives Charlie a job! Clearly Charlie is going to get serious about the girl, give up the plan to steal from them, and then his sketchy friend will ruin everything and Charlie will be a big loser. Agreed?
9. Back on the Island, Ethan stole somebody even though they had people on guard. A guy (“Scott”) got killed, then drowned.
10. Shannon breaks it to amnesiac Claire that Ethan is trying to get her back. She is mad at Charlie for keeping that info from her. He’s so sad that he flashes back to his first day of work for the rich dad. He’s not good at his job and there’s some flop sweat. Then he pukes in a copier. That’s not great.
11. The dudes (and Kate) go off into the jungle with a bunch of guns from Kate’s briefcase. Claire is bait. Ethan runs after her and then it’s a commercial! But after the commercial… Jack tackles Ethan. Then there’s a big stupid fight. Then everybody with guns comes out and suggests to him that he stop fighting with Jack. Then Jack punches him some more times. Eventually Charlie shoots the crap out of Ethan, which was not really the plan. Hard to get information out of him now. It’d be like squeezing blood from a stone, except if the stone had already had all its blood leak out of a bunch of bullet holes.
12. In flashback, the thing I said would happen doesn’t quite unfold. I mean, she does find out he was scamming her, but it was his own fault.
13. Then, on the Island, Claire remembers the stupid peanut butter thing and opens up to Charlie. All he had to do was murder someone in front of her! A good lesson for all of us. Fini.

Episode 16 (Outlaws)

1. Based on the “previously on Lost it appears that we’re in for another Jack’s-daddy-issues episode. And it appears that Sawyer’s-murderous-daddy-issues will play a role as well.
2. And in fact they do–we start with a flashback to Sawyer’s dad killing his mother, then himself, while Sawyer’s hiding under the bed. It’s extremely rough. Sawyer wakes up to a boar rooting around in his tent. Then it runs off, pulling his stuff into the jungle. And then he hears a bunch of whispers everywhere. It’s creepy.
3. Sayid makes fun of Sawyer the next morning for having his tarp dragged off. Then Sawyer asks Sayid about hearing stuff in the jungle. Sayid tells him he heard whispers. Then Sawyer pretends he didn’t. Then we flash back to the T1000 (well, the actor who played him) surprising Sawyer. Sawyer responds by getting violent. But T1000 offers him some information: the identity of the con man who fooled (and indirectly killed) Sawyer’s parents. We see a brief glimpse of a photo. He looks a lot like John Locke’s dad, don’t you think?
4. Sawyer wanders in the jungle, hears more whispers, gets charged by a boar! These boars are out of control! The boar knocks Sawyer down in the mud. Sawyer says “son of a bitch!” Then he decides to grab his gun and go after the bastard.
5. But first we flash back to Sydney, where Sawyer wanders into a machine shop and talks to some Aussi, who gives him a gun and says that even if Sawyer doesn’t have the guts to actually kill whomever he’s after, there’s no refund. Which seems kinda obvious, yes? Apparently the guy has had a customer come back and ask for his money back before?
6. Charlie and Hurley bury Ethan. Hurley then asks Sayid if Charlie might have PTSD? Which is plausible.
7. Sawyer and Kate get drunk by the fire. He calls her “sassafrass”, which is not his best nickname. And then… they play “I Never”. Really. Sawyer reveals that he’s never been in love. Nobody cares. Kate reveals that she’s been married. Nobody really cares about that one either. Okay I can’t recap any more of this nonsense. Oh all right, one thing. Kate admits she’s killed a man. But… has Sawyer???? Well, he drinks. But I bet the flashback will reveal a twist to that story. Anyway, the next morning it turns out that the boar ate all of Sawyer’s stuff. And then Locke shows up and tells them that his sister died when he was a kid. He says his foster mother blamed herself, and 6 months later a dog showed up and his mother believed it was the reincarnation of the dead girl. And then there’s the flashback to Sawyer in Australia.
8. He walks up to a food truck (shades of the Fojol Bros!) and talks to a guy who he thinks is the original Sawyer. He asks for a hot dog or whatever, and pulls his gun while the guy’s facing the other direction. They exchange small talk and the guy is kinda creepy. Sawyer’s gun hand shakes, the guy says his name is Frank [Sawyer] and Sawyer says his name is James (which it is). Then Sawyer runs away before he can get his food, because he’s a weenie. He drinks at a bar and gets really drunk. Guess who else is at the bar–CHRISTIAN SHEPHERD! Of course. He asks Sawyer to buy him a drink because he’s low on cash. Christian toasts him and asks what he’s doing in Sydney. Sawyer says “business”, which means revenge murder! They talk about how they’re in hell (metaphorically?). Christian says it’s just some people’s fate to suffer; that’s why the Red Sox will never win the World Series. Christian talks about Jack and says nice things about him (but doesn’t mention him by name). Christian asks why Sawyer hasn’t done what he’s in Sydney to do if it’ll ease his suffering; he instructs Sawyer to go through with whatever it is. So Sawyer goes back to the truck, where it’s now raining a lot.
9. On the Island, Kate and Sawyer find the boar’s bedroom. Sawyer finds a piglet and waves it around. Man,that’s a bad idea. Kate makes him let it go. Our flashback continues. Sawyer finds Frank, and kills him. Guess what? Before he dies we discover that it wasn’t really Frank Sawyer! His buddy set him up to kill someone who owed his buddy money! Whoops. Sawyer’s gonna be pretty upset about this one. As the guy dies, he says “it’ll come back around”. So true, so true.
10. Speaking of which, the boar (perhaps a reincarnated version of the guy Sawyer killed???) reappears. Sawyer pulls a gun (Kate watches from the shadows). Sawyer and the boar look deeply into each other’s eyes. Sawyer drops the gun and makes a wounded face. Then he sees Kate and says “it’s just a boar, let’s get back to camp.” Right, Sawyer. We all know your heart bleeds compassion for your fellow man (and boar).
11. Back on the beach, Charlie is psychologically healed because a magical arab talked to him about trauma. Then Sawyer gives the gun back to Jack and tries to make him jealous. Then Jack says “that’s why the Red Sox will never win the Series” and says it’s something his father used to say–blaming fate for his own inadequacies. Sawyer’s like… omg. But he doesn’t tell Jack he met him. Ol’ Sawyer plays his cards close to the vest, even when there’s absolutely no reason not to say “hey, this is weird, I met your father in Australia a few weeks before the flight!”
12. But if we didn’t enjoy characters refusing to state the obvious, we wouldn’t watch Lost. Anyway, that’s the end of that episode.

Episode 16 (In Translation)

1. Jin looks out at the ocean and immediately flashes back to standing awkwardly in front of a guy who it turns out is Sun’s dad. He asks why Jin wants to marry her, and he says that he has ambition. He wants to open a restaurant, and someday a hotel–not be a hired goon. Also, he says his father is dead. But we all know that’s not true, don’t we? Anyway, he offers Jin a job (and a daughter). Back on the beach, he sees Sun walking around in a bikini and freaks out because that’s not appropriate. He makes her cover up while everyone else shakes their heads sadly. Michael breaks it up though. They almost fight, but then Sun slaps Michael in the face so that Jin doesn’t do worse. Somehow Michael manages to get through the whole thing without shouting “WALT!” once.
2. Flashback to the Jin/Sun wedding day. I’ll spend these scenes peeking to see if Jacob shows up onscreen. Anyway, Jin and Sun talk about how happy they’ll be while I bemoan this part of the episode because it requires so much reading. Seriously, if I wanted to spend all day reading I’d buy a Kindle.
3. Hurley finds Jin at the driving range and starts chatting to him about how Jin should relax a bit. He proposes a bit of fishing. Jin ignores him but you can tell he feels bad about it.
4. Sayid and Shannon work on the raft, and he’s impressed with her beautiful bowline. Which is a knot. It’s supposed to be a flirtatious conversation but it is awkward. Walt and Michael talk architecture for a minute but then Walt wants to go play with Vincent instead. Anyway, the raft is coming along nicely–they’ll probably get off the Island on it! Michael exposits that he and his son will be joined by Sawyer, and they have one more spot left open. I suspect there will be some talk about who gets it.
5. Later, Kate tells Sun that she needs to deal with Jin. Sun says that he used to be different (before he was an overprotective brute). What changed? Maybe being Sun’s father’s hired gun?
6. Aw crap–the raft is on fire! That’s seriously messed up. I would be so mad. So, so mad. Michael, meanwhile, is not mad as much as he is heartbroken. Oh wait, now he’s mad. Because he thinks it must have been Jin. Sun goes back and it looks like it was Jin! His hand is all burnt! But I bet it wasn’t him.
7. Flashback: Sun’s dad promotes Jin to his “personal assistant” which sounds good but will turn out to be bad. He’s in charge of “delivering messages” to important people with whom Sun’s dad is displeased. He starts with some government official, who is very deferential. Because he obviously thinks Jin is about to beat the crap out of him. Which Mr. Paik (Sun’s dad) presumably wanted him to do. Instead he takes a champion show dog from his daughter’s lap and gives it to Jin. It’s the dog we saw Sun hanging out with in a flashback earlier in the season. What is it with fathers letting their kids down on this show???
8. Sayid wants to talk to Boone about Shannon. He’s kinda direct about how he wants to be her special someone; Boone suggests that she’s using Sayid to provide for her. Which, to be fair, he’s seen before. Sayid doesn’t say anything but I bet he’s thinking “that’s a deal I am prepared to accept.” But I guess not, because he finds Shannon and they have a chat–he tells her to find someone else to help her. She says “you’ve been talking to my brother” and stalks off to yell at him. She finds Locke butchering a frog for dinner and tells him to tell Boone to stay out of her business. Locke butts in creepily and tells her to deal with it herself, rather than keep giving Boone attention every time he acts like a dick. Which, actually, is good advice.
9. Back in the jungle, Sawyer finds Jin and punches him in the face (the Lost equivalent of a polite hello. But then he ties him up and knocks him down. And then we flash back to Sun showing Jin a dinner she cooked him. They both seem happy right up until his cell phone rings. But he doesn’t answer because he loves her. But then the house phone rings. And then he goes to get it. Dude, leave your work at the office–you’re not a lawyer, you need to relax. But it turns out that he shouldn’t be relaxing–his failure to appropriately deliver the message caused a factory shutdown. So Jin and a serious guy with a silencer on his pistol go out to deliver another message. So they go back in and Jin delivers a serious beating to the guy to stop his buddy from killing him. The daughter watches the whole thing, of course. She’ll be scarred for life. But the beating is enough to stop the other guy from killing the dude. Anyway, it’s after this excursion that Jin returns home covered in blood. Remember that? Sun and Jin have the same fight we saw in the last episode about them. She slaps him and he explains that it’s her father’s fault. So much for everybody’s happy. She leaves and Sun cries into the mirror.
10. Then we’re back on the Island where Sawyer is untying Jin on the beach. Everyone gathers around and yells at/about Jin. He yells back at Michael, who beats the crap out of Jin while everyone watches. It’s rough. Sun has no choice but to tell everyone she speaks English by yelling “leave him alone!” And I guess that’s a big surprise to everyone but Michael/Kate, who already knew. Anyway, she says Jin didn’t burn the raft, just like I said earlier in this writeup. Anyway, Sun says Jin was trying to put the fire out when he burned his hands. Then Locke points out that the likely culprit for the raft fire is Ethan’s folks. Then Michael and Walt stalk off angrily. Then Sun and Jin have a fight because she hadn’t told him she spoke English. And when we find out why she learned English in the first place I think we might be sympathetic to his point of view.
11. Michael is sad because the raft is completely destroyed. Walt seems scared. Michael apologizes and tells Walt that it’ll be okay, then they perform a terrorist fist bump which is pretty cool.
12. At the rape caves, Jin is packing up his stuff and refusing to talk to Sun. She yells at him, in English, “I was going to leave you! But you made me change my mind!” and then in Korean, she says she wants to start over. Then we flash back to Jin in a suit, at some small pier, going to talk to an old fisherman. The fisherman is his father, duh. Jin apologizes for running away and being ashamed of his roots. His dad hugs him and then Jin helps his dad with the fishing. So it’s kinda nice that he is in charge of fishing on the Island. Jin’s dad tells him that no matter what Jin’s done, he’s still his son. Jin wants to just start over–he pledges that his last act for Sun’s dad will be to deliver watches to people in Sydney, then LA. So that watch that Sawyer was wearing wasn’t Jin’s, exactly. Anyway, back in the rape cave Jin tells Sun “it’s too late”–which is pretty messed up. Sun cries. Lotta crying in this ep.
13. Shannon kisses Sayid because Locke infected her with his crazy ideas. This will end poorly for both of them. At the same time, Locke plays backgammon with Walt, who says Hurley now owes him $83,000. They chat about Locke’s dad, whom Locke says isn’t cool. And yeah, he’s not cool at all. Then Locke asks Walt “why did you burn the raft?” And I am like, oh man, I totally forgot about that! Walt tells him that he is tired of moving around, and he likes it on the Island and wants to stay. Locke concurs. Anyway, this development is echoed by Locke’s eventually blowing up the goddamn submarine, which was so annoying.
14. Jin and Michael make amends by working on the raft together, while Hurley listens to some music and Sayid canoodles with Shannon. Lucky bastard. Then Sun walks around on the beach and regrets nothing! Charlie brings Claire some tea. And then Hurley’s discman dies and the music cuts out. It’s funny and kinda poignant! The end.