At breakfast one morning a few weeks ago, Ilan Hall, the appealing winner of this past season’s Top Chef, confessed that he and his old girlfriend also split after the show. “She thinks it’s because women were coming up to me after the show,” he said. “Which happens. But it had nothing to do with it.” And I believed him—he’s 25, hardly the marrying age—but even Ilan’s father, says Allen, now jokes that his son’s girlfriends have gotten prettier since the show.

Um… there are a number of assertions and implications in that paragraph I’d have to take issue with. Starting with “appealing.”

I also enjoyed this paragraph:

Before he auditioned, Harold Dieterle was a bit naïve about all this. He recalls his first e-mail exchange with Randy Bernstein, the casting director of Top Chef. “He was like, open call is this day,” says Harold, as he portions a pinkish heap of snapper in his new kitchen. “And I was like, open call? I’m not going to an open call. I’m a chef, man.” He told Bernstein he’d cook him a meal at the Harrison instead. “Afterwards,” says Harold, “he said, ‘Listen, you seem kind of normal. You’ve got to show your personality. It’s the most important thing.’ ” He stops cutting mid-fish. “So I’ll be honest with you: I absolutely, positively played the game. Before my final audition, I got totally overcaffeinated and was a total egomaniac. I told them no one can cook as good as me.” [italics sic]

At any rate, this piece in New York Magazine (warning: contains profanity!) takes a look at the pseudo-celebrity that comes out of appearing on Bravo’s reality competition shows (Top Chef, Top Clothing Designer, Top Balloon Animal Artist, etc.). I only really found the Top Chef stuff interesting, but I guess it’s a powerful statement about the reality tv zeitgeist, or something like that.

There’s a lot of info in the piece, including an inside look at casting the shows. But mostly, it boils down to: Bravo famous isn’t real famous. You gotta get on American Idol for that.

 

It’s unclear whether this is real. Even if it’s not real, the fact that anyone even thought of faking this is pretty awesome.

I am very excited about this season. I predict a 7-2 start, a 3-4 finish, and a disappointing second round playoff loss followed by an offseason filled with rationalizing how the Redskins should have won it all.

And, just for the record, I would be thrilled with that outcome.

 

After explaining why young NBA players and their wives/girlfriends sometimes clash, Gilbert Arenas goes on to make a very compelling observation:

I know this is random, but I just want to clear this up for people out there.

There are these things called shark attacks, but there is no such thing as a shark attack. I have never seen a real shark attack.

I know you’re making a weird face as you’re reading this. OK people, a shark attack is not what we see on TV and what people portray it as.

We’re humans. We live on land.

Sharks live in water.

So if you’re swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that’s called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack.

A shark attack is if you’re chilling at home, sitting on your couch, and a shark comes in and bites you; now that’s a shark attack. Now, if you’re chilling in the water, that is called invasion of space. So I have never heard of a shark attack.

When I see on the news where it’s like, “There have been 10 shark attacks,” I’m like, “Hey, for real?! They’re just running around? Sharks are walking now, huh! We live on the land, we don’t live underwater.”

Nice use of the semicolon, too.

From Gilbert Arenas’s Blog.

(Great minds think alike, although I chose not to throw in a Rich Ankiel joke.)

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