You won’t hear this on the Discovery Channel.
August 1, 2007
After explaining why young NBA players and their wives/girlfriends sometimes clash, Gilbert Arenas goes on to make a very compelling observation:
I know this is random, but I just want to clear this up for people out there.Nice use of the semicolon, too.There are these things called shark attacks, but there is no such thing as a shark attack. I have never seen a real shark attack.
I know you’re making a weird face as you’re reading this. OK people, a shark attack is not what we see on TV and what people portray it as.
We’re humans. We live on land.
Sharks live in water.
So if you’re swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that’s called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack.
A shark attack is if you’re chilling at home, sitting on your couch, and a shark comes in and bites you; now that’s a shark attack. Now, if you’re chilling in the water, that is called invasion of space. So I have never heard of a shark attack.
When I see on the news where it’s like, “There have been 10 shark attacks,” I’m like, “Hey, for real?! They’re just running around? Sharks are walking now, huh! We live on the land, we don’t live underwater.”
From Gilbert Arenas’s Blog.
(Great minds think alike, although I chose not to throw in a Rich Ankiel joke.)
Posted in 
Creative Commons
August 7th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
I assume you heard he ripped the joke off, but did you see his response: http://www.nba.com/blog/gilbert_arenas.html#070803_01
Good stuff.
August 7th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Indeed I did see his response. I suppose it might be hypocritical of me (I would probably be upset if many other people had done that—e.g., Carlos Mencia), but it didn’t bother me at all that Arenas ripped off some obscure comic. I’m not sure why. Maybe because he so readily admitted to it.