This Slate story about Ultimate Fighting is pretty much just hilarious:

Stoking the fury of aficionados and piquing the curiosity of novices, the announcers began to wind up the hype: “There is dislike. There is distrust. There is simply hatred.” In a clip, Shamrock, a veteran known as “the most dangerous man in the world,” expressed his belief that Ortiz is a punk. Meanwhile, Ortiz, a punk, forwarded the notion that Shamrock is over the hill. Cut back to Shamrock: “Tito Ortiz is going to find out who Ken Shamrock is, was, and is now.” The “is now” in that sentence wasn’t really a redundancy. Shamrock was employing a new tense—the ultimate tense—to describe how he was about to be bringing it, how it was about to have been brung.

So I just created a Twitter account. Have you noticed that the site is incredibly slow? Like, absurdly slow? This is a site that’s nothing but text. How can it take 30 seconds or more just to load a page? I thought this was the future, dammit!

In other news, I saw Ghostrider over the weekend and it was, well… Nicholas Cage was abysmal. I believe there’s a place for Mr. Cage, and bad movies is definitely it, but this wasn’t the bad movie for him. He is old and has fake hair and was not fun to watch. He was entertaining in Face/Off and Raising Arizona and Con Air, but this was not the vehicle for him. At this stage in his career, he should stick to movies where he doesn’t have to make out with women under 40 or play a badass. When he was all CGI and on fire it was pretty fun, though. The villains were, for the most part, stupid and boring. The climactic scene was a huge letdown. The first scene where he turns into Ghostrider was the best part of the movie, except for when his dad–SPOILER–died.

Anyway: although the movie was put together with sequels in mind and it made enough money that I’m sure they’re greenlighting one right now, I really hope that they decide to replace Cage with someone who can credibly play a man who doesn’t have osteoporosis.

And that’s my review of Ghostrider. Hey, they can’t all be coherent.