Brief TV observations

Top Chef:
From the first few episodes, I thought the final two would be Sam and Cliff–but for very different reasons unrelated to their cooking neither made it.

I think it’s pretty clear to everyone in the world that Sam should have been in the final two. His bad luck that he’s Harold’s twin. Anthony Bourdain, guest judge earlier in the season, weighs in on every TC competitor here (important note–one of the comments includes an unconfirmed–by me, anyway–spoiler about this season’s winner), and he says this about Sam:

Probably the closest thing to Chef material this season–with the most chefly demeanor and attitude (generally speaking). Though not the strongest craftsman (though very close to it), he was the best all-around cook–generally smart, consistent, with good technical skills. He managed to stay on the fringes of the worst behaviors, generally showed the kind of low ego, low maintenance attitude a cook should have at this point in his career. He helped others, took responsibility for his actions, didn’t blame or explain when things went sour and consistently showed leadership qualities. Most likely to succeed–meaning he shall surely find the balance between leadership and culinary excellence in future. If you were going to invest in one contestant as a chef/business partner, Sam would be your guy.

So yeah, Sam is awesome. But two humble white guys in a row is bad for business; as a commenter (“SA”) notes on that same page:

I think, in the case of Michael particularly, and Sam most recently, that cuts were made not based on a chef’s performance or the food they gave this week, but the drama of keeping one person on or off.

And that’s pretty clear in the first part of the finale episode–I agree with you that Sam should have been in the final two, and I was quite shocked that he wasn’t. It felt like Colicchio came up with an excuse to cut him–what, that’s not cooking? Please. Cooking is not solely the application of heat, and Colicchio knows this. It was bullshit excuse. And I think you’re right, too, that the judges/producers were more concerned with how similar to Harold Sam was, from a television-character point of view (which, really, is all we the audience have).

So see ya later, Sam.

And as for Cliff… yeesh. What can you say–he assaulted Marcel. That’s not okay. But you may have noticed that he also accepted all of the blame himself, when Ilan the conniving weasel and Elia the foreign basketcase were definitely involved, too (and it’s hard to tell how much Sam had to do with it, but it would have been nice for him to actually intervene on Marcel’s behalf). So you know, he had too much to drink and made a big mistake. He had to go, I think, but I also think he escaped with his dignity intact–something that very few reality TV competitors ever do.

Anyway, Marcel is kind of amazing. It’s like the producers last year wondered what it would have been like if Stephen had been a good cook–and then they found him. But I don’t think anyone could have anticipated his hippie freestyling or his creepy jerkiness. Anyway, he’s clearly a talented chef, but I think the only reason he’s made it this far is because he’s a compelling (if repugnant) character who can be counted on to start some fights.

Which is a nice segue to discussing Ilan, since over the course of the season he’s been steadily progressing from “cool chef with a goofy haircut and a sense of humor” to “huge asshole who’ll betray anyone to get ahead (and can only cook Spanish food).” I was really disgusted that he made the finals after trying to screw Marcel with completely non sequitur character assassination in the last episode–I thought that he and Elia both deserved to go home for that. But it is allegedly about the food, so he stayed… because Sam had the audacity not to use heat to prepare his dishes!!!!!!!

Unfortunately, somebody’s got to win. So who will it be, the immature narcissist with a modified beehive or the immature narcissist with Obi-Wan’s old haircut?

I think this year’s winner will be Lee-Ann, finally getting out from under Harold’s shadow in a shocker twist ending. And then Kathie-Lee Joel and Padma Lakshmi will wrestle, nude, in a kiddie-pool filled with olive oil. Nah… they should save that for when Bravo switches to high definition.

Alas, I caught the spoiler comment at that blog I linked to, so I’m not going to say who I think will win. But really, I would have been disappointed either way.

Lost:
What? Lost hasn’t been on for months? I didn’t notice. That’s not promising.

Studio 60:
Ugh. Getting locked out on the roof is soooooooo Friends episode 1.09. This show has its moments, but that’s all they are–moments. Between all the boring corporate buyout intrigue and the seven romantic plots all revolving around miscommunications and sexist notions, It’s like Sorkin forgot everything he learned in between the end of Sports Night and the beginning of West Wing.

And is anyone else tired of watching Sorkin struggle with racial tension? For a while it was cute, like when a six-year-old thinks she can compose a symphony on a plastic keyboard, but at this point somebody’s got to tell him that when your black actors all sound like Niles Crane you’ve got a serious problem–with both your dialogue and with your understanding of the world.

Nobody cares about the life of an NBC exec! The worst case scenario is getting paid tens of millions of dollars to go sit on a beach somewhere! Their decisions make no substantive difference!

God, I’m so mad at him. On the plus side, it looks like they decided to at least take a break from trying to write actual comedy scenes for the show-within-the-show. That was a losing battle if I’ve ever seen one.

I thought this past week’s episode was pretty dumb. I think next week’s episode will be very dumb. And I’m not holding out much hope for the one after that being a game-changer, either.

But I will keep watching anyway. I don’t know why.

The Office:
It’s a simple show about a pitiful petty tyrant exerting a modicum of power over the sodden losers unfortunate enough to be his inferiors. It’s reliably the funniest thing on TV. And it is in some ways the most honest and powerful portrayal of how complicated, frustrating, and bizarre life can be in even the most mundane of circumstances. If you’re not watching this show, you have a serious problem.

The Apprentice:
Not only are most of the contestants morons, but Trump doesn’t even have the decency to care about that fact. If there’s one thing I would suggest to current and future contestants on this show (assuming it doesn’t get cancelled after this season, which wouldn’t surprise me), it’s this: stop fucking interrupting in the boardroom! Does this ever make anyone look better than just sitting quietly and speaking slowly and confidently? Also, it’s probably best not to be gay–Trump doesn’t seem to be a huge fan of alternate lifestyles or the color pink–EXCEPT ON TIES FOR SOME REASON.

The OC:
I don’t really have anything to say here. Now that nobody’s watching, The OC is getting better. In fact, without Marissa, The OC is in some ways better than ever. Except, remember when Taylor was a bad guy? And when Ryan’s dad was an abusive deadbeat dad? This show really requires a willingness to suspend disbelief and forget everything you’ve ever known… next thing you know, they’ll be telling us that Riverside has WMDs… Anyway, I’m glad the last few episodes have been watchable. But I won’t be crying any tears when it’s gone.

This American Life:
I know this is a radio program, but I needed to mention it somewhere. I love T.A.L. deeply. I couldn’t care less about Wait… Wait… Don’t Tell Me Another Goddamn Joke About George Bush Being Stupid and I hardly ever bother with All Things Considered, but the hour a week that I listen to This American Life is one of my purest pleasures. I am very thankful for the podcast.

Arrested Development:
R.I.P.