Oh man. Ellen Pompeo (the completely unsympathetic main character in Grey’s Anatomy) is a total B (you know what that stands for, internet). Who knew her real accent made her sound like a jersey skank? Spend your weekend thanking the lord that you’re not dating this harpy:

Can you believe that, internet? Not only does her voice grate like a morning alarm clock, but she’s a jealous skinflint who blames her boyfriend for getting flirted at! Even if her weight could be documented using positive integers I’d still run screaming. I can’t say this video encourages me to tune in for next year’s series of morally-repugnant cliffhangers.

I was hoping to make it through this post without noting how abhorrent Ashton Kutcher is as the host of this show–almost made it! I still can’t believe that people can tolerate his raving screaming incoherent intros on Punk’d. And why do they hire middle schoolers to edit the show on two VCRs?

[Mollygood]