Hello World

Hey, Fletcher and Lauren–why haven’t you already written about Kinky Friedman’s campaign for Texas Governor? This (very long) article is filled with great stuff:

Kinky promises big changes. He’ll legalize casino gambling and use the proceeds to fund public schools — “slots for tots.” He’s the only candidate in the race — or maybe anywhere — who supports both school prayer and gay marriage. (“They have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us,” he explains.) He’ll clamp down on illegal immigration. And he’ll run the state’s school buses on the biodiesel fuel that Willie Nelson uses to propel his tour bus.

“We can make Texas number one in renewable fuels — which is a helluva lot better than being number one in executions, toll roads, property taxes and dropouts!”

But here’s the real question: Does Kinky have a chance of winning?

Kinky’s campaign has raised more than $3.4 million — more than Bell but far less than Perry or Strayhorn — while enlisting an army of volunteers who gathered the signatures that put him on the ballot. Now all Kinky has to do is get one more vote than anybody else: The election is winner-take-all, with no runoff.

“Kinky’s gonna win,” says John McCall, a hair-care products mogul who has donated $1 million to his old friend Kinky’s campaign. “I have a business that deals with hairdressers. People talk to their hairdressers. And what I’m hearing is: Kinky’s gonna win in a landslide.”

So there you have it, folks–hair-care products moguls agree: Kinky Friedman is going to run away with the election and turn the rest of Texas into Austin–a den of liberal weirdos and hippies with a penchant for beer and big hats.