After the first Red Sox-Yankees game of the season at Fenway last week, when he went 0 for 4, Damon joked that he’s still helping the Sox win games. This got me thinking… what if JD and Theo Epstein (Sox GM) got together last winter and set up an elaborate, Usual Suspects-esque con? Here’s the way it plays out: as a Yankee, Damon shines as the leadoff hitter and does his usual crappy job in the outfield. The Evil Empire makes the playoffs and, with timely hits from Damon and everyone else in that stupid lineup, beats somebody like Cleveland in the first round, and then gets the inevitable matchup with the Sox. Mysteriously, Damon goes cold behind the plate, and starts dropping tough catches in the outfield. He seems to make mistakes or fall short at the worst times, and the Sox dominate the Bronx Bombers and go on to win their second World Series in three years. Asked later about his surprisingly poor play, Damon just looks at the camera and says “I lost the series for the Yankees. Bad luck, I guess…” as he breaks into a helpless grin.
I think this is the only way Damon could ever redeem himself with Boston fans for signing with the Yankees (something he specifically said he’d never, ever do). Plus it sounds like an awesome 80s movie (although if it were an 80s movie, Damon would start out trying to sabotage the good guys and would gradually come around until he betrayed his former team to hit the game-winner for his new teammates).
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