Dave, please pack your knives and- wait, what? Leann got kicked off???

May 6, 2006

Okay, let’s talk about Top Chef now. Last week I predicted that Harold, Tiffani, and Leann would make it to the finale, and the hysterical Dave would be ousted. Anyone who watched on Wednesday knows that I was wrong. Dave stepped up to the plate with some sort of goofy macaroni and cheese thing and impressed the judges, while Leann’s shoddy technique proved to be her downfall.

And it wasn’t even close! Dave was the winner of last week’s competition! He and Harold made it through with ease, while the women languished. It’s safe to say I’m surprised. Shocked, even. Clearly, the judgments made on the show are based on actual performance rather than personality (see also: Tiffani), which is really great if you ask me. But seriously, Dave is so temperamental and ridiculous that it’s amazing that he’s made it this far in the competition. I’m sure a lot of people out there agree with me that Leann should be in the finale, not Dave, but as in all of these shows I’m sure there’s a lot of stuff that never made it on screen. Plus, we can’t taste the food, unfortunately.

At any rate, Dave will get his 15 minutes (long enough to ensure a few prosperous years for his catering company) and then we’ll never have to endure another of his televised teary temper tantrums. But we all know Harold and Tiffani are the best chefs and ultimately it was going to come down to the two of them anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.

There’s some dumb reunion show on this week, in which Dave throws a hissy and somebody threatens to beat up somebody else, and probably somebody cries (could be Dave again). So we’ll have to wait a while before finding out who wins the finale and gets a bunch of money to help launch his or her career. I can’t wait to watch them duke it out in Vegas. Three Chefs Enter: One Chef Leaves. Tiffani, specifically, because she’s going to win. Sorry Harold, but I don’t think the world is ready for a white male master chef yet. Maybe our children will be progressive enough to look past appearances at the gourmet within.

Posted in Television