The OC and more.

So it seems exceedingly obvious that in a few episodes the Dean and Taylor are gonna get caught banging in his office, resulting in Ryan and Marissa getting de-expelled (impelled?). Equally obvious is that Jeri Ryan is the creepiest character since one Oliver Trask.

I guess Jimmy is gone again. Which brings me to an interesting point: if you default on a $100,000 loan, you get your ass kicked? If you’ll give me $100,000, I’ll take an ass-kicking right now. Also, I’m not convinced that anybody would have been dumb enough to lend Jimmy money again anyway (and boy, did that plotline appear out of nowhere). Overall I’m thinking there might have been a better way to write Jimmy out–he could have died to save Marissa’s life, or contracted West Nile, or moved to Poland, or become an astronaut.

And look, I refuse to believe that Ryan and Marissa hadn’t slept together before. I mean, he’s “been around” and she gave her flower to Luke in like the third episode of the first season! I’m willing to suspend my disbelief on subjects like the Dean of Discipline having complete autonomy or Marissa’s sister’s implausible constant absence, but the idea that Marissa and Ryan hadn’t already enjoyed each other’s bodies is simply laughable. The good news is that Fox managed to get its conservative perspective across: if you have premarital sex, your dad will get his ass thoroughly thrashed.

The way that the executor explained the will was totally hilarious. He was like “Caleb’s intention was to split his money equally between his wife and his daughters” and everyone was happy and then he was like “um, I said intention…” It was exactly like on Arrested Development when the doctor was like “your son is going to be all right” and everyone was so relieved and then he was like “wow, you took that well. If someone told me my son had lost his left hand…” ROFLHOUSE. That’s how we do comedic timing in the OC, bitch!

I will admit, though, that nobody portrays simple domesticity as idyllically as the OC. The last scene, when Kirstin finally came home was pretty nice. They unpacked groceries! Gosh, it makes me wish they’d outlaw gay marriage once and for all–we can’t let anything ruin the sanctity of the Family (Father, Mother, Son, adopted Felon). It’s in the bible, guys; look it up!

Anyway, this was a definite improvement over last week’s episode. I’m impressed that they didn’t just get Marissa and Ryan back in school right away (as I assumed they would), and I’m glad they finally got Kirstin out of the thrall of that bizarre brainwashing weirdo. Unfortunately, she’s obviously coming to Newport to stalk the family and cause drama. I’d rather have Lindsay back.

While we’re on the subject of Fox’s Thursday night lineup, I’ve got to admit that I’m finding myself pretty solidly interested in Reunion, the show that airs after the OC. Hilariously, in one of promos for the show they say “the best new show since Lost!” which is basically saying “it’s like that show you really enjoy on another network.” Also, they totally ripped off Lost‘s opening title screen. Anyway, the show’s gimmick is that it’s a flashback show, where we look back from the present at a single year’s activity by a group of 6 friends. The twist is that one of the 6 friends was murdered (in the present day) and we’re looking back for clues about a) who it was b) who killed them and c) why. So there are 20 episodes, starting with the year 1986 and ending in 2005. It’s totally nostalgic in the VH1 countdown vein, complete with cheesy soundtrack and hilarious fashion choices. And the best part is that Hailey (from the OC) (and that show about Hawaii that they tried after the OC last year) is in it. As always, she plays a happy-go-lucky slut.

My prediction for the end of the season: the unwed mother’s child killed the Tom Cruise doppelganger because the child thought he was the one who knocked Sam up and abandoned her. Just another morality tale from Fox.

Special bonus prediction: if the show ends up getting good ratings, they’ll find some ridiculous way to extend it to another season. Maybe they could follow the next generation into the future? Or they could do it again, but backwards, with the last episode being the births of the main characters–major guest star potential!