Finally, some punching.

I was browsing the official OC Website, and I noticed that they actually (and hilariously) put up their own episode recaps. Last week’s recap ends quite tenderly: “A weary Ryan tracks down Marissa at her favorite lifeguard station. She assures him that he’s not alone and they’ll get through this together. He hopes she’s right.” Right on. They also post totally awesome quotes from the most recent episode, like: ‘”Sure. Record it. Release it on iTunes. Hope it’s a big hit.” – Seth, sassing off to the D.D.A.’

So anyway, here are some thoughts on last night’s episode of the OC:

Why is this mysterious new Dean of Discipline such a Dastardly Dick? And is he trying to out-J.Crew me? The more I watch, the more I like him. Well, except for the part where he manhandled Marissa. That was messed up.

How is Jimmy in money trouble again? I thought he was drunkenly earning millions from the captain’s bunk. Between that and his getting back together with the woman who slept with her daughter’s ex-boyfriend and then married her best friend’s father, it’s like he’s trying to single-handedly return to the golden age of Season 1. Don’t do it, Jimmy. Yes, it was a simpler time, but do you really want to get punched at your daughter’s debutante ball again? Metaphorically, I mean. Your other daughter (oh yeah, you do have another daughter, asshole) won’t be introduced to society for a few more years.

Why the hell is Marissa social chair, anyway? Does she ever do anything except hang out with Summer and the poolboy? Her second-in-command is totally right, she did do everything for Marissa last year (while Marissa was dealing with drug abuse, alcohol abuse, kleptomania, and of course attempted murder). She may be a little bit Tracy Flick, but she’s completely correct. Also, she appears to be trying to out-J.Crew me as well.

That part about Seth giving Ryan a hand with the garbage bags was pretty funny.

I love it when the OC has a character act completely absurdly, i.e. Kirstin not going straight home from rehab. Can anyone think of a realistic explanation for this decision? I mean, assuming that Jeri Ryan isn’t a hypnotist? Speaking of which, Jeri Ryan, you are too old to wear jeans that tight. You should be wearing the kind of jeans that the mom from Home Improvement used to wear–the ones with the waist at your, you know, waist? Also, stop trying to fuck with Kirstin’s head. That is not right. Also, you are so not attractive at all anymore. I do support your choice of Southern Comfort, however; next time I recommend stepping up to the 100 proof. You manipulative yet oddly boring jerk.

Sandy’s mullet is really coming along, although it’s a bit finely-styled for my taste. When you take that into account along with his “shaped” eyebrows, it’s hard not to think that Sandy may be spending a little too much time in front of a vanity mirror.

It was pretty great when Ryan punched that guy, huh? Good old Ryan sure can punch.

The sad version of “California” makes up in being hilarious for what it lacks in being good. But if you think it’s going to replace the orginal as my ringtone, you’re dead wrong.

Now, here’s my question: Did anyone, at any point, ever actually believe that Ryan or Marissa would be permanently expelled? I mean, literally, was there a single person in the entire world, including children and Canadians, who seriously thought that might happen? To be fair, as of now they are expelled, but I have no doubt that by the end of next week’s episode they will be back in class (say, did they take the SATs and will they be applying to college soon? I can’t wait for Summer to end up at Mills College, Seth to end up at UC Berkeley, Marissa to end up at UVI and Ryan to end up at Architecture College.)

Next week: Marissa and Ryan totally do it. For like the 18,000th time. And Caleb’s money goes to? I’m putting my money on: his long-lost daughter Lindsay, with ginger hair and a bigger brain than the rest of the cast combined. God, Jimmy will be pissed about proposing to a hateful shrew.

I’ve got to believe that it’ll only be another 3 or 4 episodes til Ryan’s baby mama shows up to surprise him with an infant in a wifebeater and hoodie.